One of my sources (who must remain nameless) has sworn on a stack of Sacrament Programs that he saw Elder Uchtdorf’s new tattoo. He assures me that he saw with his own eyes a set of wings between Elder Uchtdorf’s shoulder blades. Based on my source’s description of the tattoo, I believe them to be the wings of Dusty Crophopper, the hero of Disney’s “Planes,” but with a Lufthansa logo on each wing.

There will likely be heightened security at the next general conference to prevent a repeat of the widely publicized stunt last year when many in the audience started chanting “Tattoo! Tattoo! Tattoo!” until Elder Bednar and Elder Eyring showed their matching “Ricks College Forever!” ankle tattoos.